HAPPY NEW YEAR Lovelies!!
2018 was a crazy year of ups and downs for me. From putting my idea of starting my own curvy fashion line to play to losing a major work contract due to negligence from my part, 2018 was indeed a mind-blowing adventure. I must say, I learnt so much about myself and my surroundings last year. I’m sharing what I learnt with hopes to inspire you to have the best year ahead!
Things don’t always happen when I want them to
One of the biggest lessons I learnt in 2018 was that despite careful plans put in motion, sometimes things just don’t happen when you most expect it to. I learnt this lesson the hard way. For instance, my husband and I worked so hard to get a few work contracts but because of the recent change of ruling government, all our hard work was thrown out the window in a flash. We didn’t get the contracts, we cried, we were bitter but we knew that life had to move on. And that is just one instance. So, I believe now that patience is an effing virtue. You work hard, be patient and things will happen for you, somehow.
Step outside my comfort zone
Trust me when I tell you this. I am in the initial stages of planning for my curvy fashion line and I honestly have no clue what I am doing. But I am doing things slowly, learning what different fabrics are for, how one piece of cloth looks different on various body shapes. It is never easy and quite frankly, sometimes annoying when I don’t understand something. But, I learnt that everything happens just outside your comfort zone. This project I am working on challenges me, and I am starting easy and building on that. So, slightly push yourself on a regular basis so you don’t become stagnant. When you do, build your character and inch closer to what you want to achieve.
Be grateful for everything that I have
Even though 2018 was a little difficult, it could always be a lot worse. I have to be grateful for all the wonderful things I do have in my life because, in the past, I used to hope and dream for these very things. Sometimes we can get caught in this trap of always wanting more or wanting what we don’t have and this can really destroy our happiness. I’m very lucky in so many ways, for being married to an incredible guy and blessed with good friends and family. We can afford to live a comfortable life and get our Latte fixes and Sephora hauls whenever we want to. I’m healthy, I am happy being in business with my husband that we get to work on my own terms. Man, I can go on because there is just so much to be grateful for. So guys and girls, it is so easy to be envious looking at what others have and you don’t, but just stop for a second and alter your train of thought to all the good that’s happening in your life. You will change the way you think, trust me.
Be money savvy
I was taught to value money from a young age. My mother used to only give me enough to buy a meal at the school canteen. I grew up learning that saving is a priority and that I must save even as little as 50 cents a day just to see it grow. Of course, when I grew older, things weren’t as easy anymore with all the mortgages and bill payments. Money is an extremely stressful concept. But it doesn’t always have to be. Budget your money and watch how you are spending it. Make sure your priorities are in line and only splurge on that Gucci bag if you have already allocated enough for the necessary stuff! True story: a few years ago, I made a blunder when I bought a slightly expensive item without thinking about my pending payments. Urgh, that shit was harsh when I had to return it to the store! So my advice, be smart enough to decide between saving your money or spending it on a material you don’t need.
I have struggled for God-knows how long with my self-confidence. Ever since I started becoming more active on Instagram with the whole #bodypositive posts, I am not only helping other curvy girls with their self confidence, but I am helping ME get over this whole body-shaming rubbish that I have been struggling with. Putting yourself down and negative self-talk comes easy, and you forget all the small wins you have under your belt. If you set a goal of not eating junk food and kept up with it for a week, give yourself a treat for that! If you finished your assignment before time, reward yourself with that dress you’ve been eyeing! This practice focuses your mind on the positive things you’ve done and reframes your thinking. When you focus on the small wins you build momentum which carries over in all areas of life.
My path will change and it’s OK
I have a degree in Psychology and I thought I would be working in a hospital and talk people out of their depression. Instead, I went into business with my husband. And now, I’m working on starting my own business! I mean, how the hell did I just wake up one day and think of a bright idea like building a curvy fashion brand when I run to my Mom for help to sew a loose button?!! It sounds insane, it’s probably insane but I’m doing it nonetheless! If you have a job that you hate or are stuck in a shitty relationship, get out of it and find a better one! Don’t stick to it just to be consistent. You have the right to leave the path you’re on and go toward a new direction, darling.
It’s not my job to take action for other people
This year, I had a rude awakening of how some family members can turn out to be the most toxic people in my life. My husband and I helped as much as we could but in the end, we became the bad guys. What I learnt from this whole Bollywood drama is that even if you only want good for someone, only they can take action to improve their lives (or in the Bollywood drama that we starred in, destroy their lives). Even if it is painful to be treated this way, i am (still) learning to not take people’s mean actions to me personally. So, just focus on building yourself and don’t force relationships that are one-sided cause it will only end up hurting you. We don’t want that now, do we?
Notice the little things
I know I probably sound like a wannabe guru but I like taking notice of my surroundings. Notice how people smile at you, notice the waiter’s new haircut, notice how happy or sad someone feels, notice how your friend progressed on her weight loss journey, notice how your Mom prepares dinner, notice how a stranger opens up a door for another stranger, notice how a father will quietly put the good chicken pieces on his daughter’s plate. Just take notice all these little acts of kindness. It’s everywhere, it’s beautiful and it’s good for the soul.
Make time for myself
Living in KL or any city in the world can be super busy and stressful. You have work, a family to look after, a spouse to please, friends to see, people to meet and traffic to be stuck in. All these commitments can leave you with an emotional/mental strain. My life is not too crazy but I do have moments when everything happens all at once and that just drives me insane! I came up with a solution to my problem of constantly feeling overwhelmed – I schedule time-outs for myself to do something I enjoy. I usually randomly cook a meal, giving myself just that 1-2 hours of peace without speaking to anyone, to work my mind to build the recipe, to try new dishes (and the food usually turns out bloody good!). I also use the “Headspace” app to meditate and just be in my zone for a few minutes. These are just my ways of de-stressing and enjoying my me-time. So, think of something that you will enjoy as a me-time activity and do it! I’m sure you will come back fresh as a mug!
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I could go on, but I think these few lessons can help me (and hopefully my readers) enough to brave this new year.
Please feel free to list some of your life lessons in the comments section as it would be great to learn what others have learnt from their 2018. I hope you all have an amazing 2019 and keep that positivity going people!